Where the Subways Don’t Run... The Happy Tale of How an Obsolete MP3 Player Saved My Life!

“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” This quote by Lewis Carroll, is to me, both hopeful and bleak... It opens wide the door of opportunity, although, it can simultaneously open the lid to Pandora’s Box!

The hopeful facet of this axiom proved an excellent companion during the 5 day absence of my friend, translator, guide and roommate, Kayla. The day after I returned from Mongolia Kayla had to leave for a business trip... With no plans, no guide and no expectations I setout to explore Beijing! Every metro station was a thrilling portal to another world; every side street the threshold to a labyrinth of Hutongs!!!

I spent the days overwhelmed with joy and hopelessly lost! Every turn brought me to exactly where I didn’t know I wanted to be! It was lovely!

This is a man swimming in Hou Hai! Not advisable:

Hutongs:

However, much to my chagrin, I soon became acquainted with the bleak side of this truism! Human history and personal experience both exemplify the danger of making any decision out of fear, uncertainty, anxiety or ignorance. Although, both history and I incessantly make this mistake! ...If you don’t know where you are going any road seems adequate...

Though, I had only been in China for less than one week I suddenly felt panicky. My present state of ambiguity seemed to magnify the petty practicalities of life like finances, job, and purpose. Taking a decided step in any direction seemed prudent. Act now, consider the consequences later... Fortunately this feeling was fleeting; unfortunately it wasn’t fleeting fast enough. Opportunity struck on inopportunity! I received a phone call from an unassuming Chinese woman named Maria, a recruiter of English teachers... That same day I found myself in her office, being informed of “jobs too good to refuse!”

The prospect of a salary was appealing and “helping the children” was almost impossible to decline.... Though, miraculously I escaped the stockades of manipulation and flatteries (her office) without signing a contracted! Safe in the subway car back to my apartment I reflected on my narrow escape!

I decided to push aside the fear and anxiety, which are not necessarily companions of ambiguity; I resolved to decline the job offers! I didn’t want to opt for any teaching job without first pursuing work with NGOs, my true passion! ...I remained thus, firmly resolved, until I received another call from her a few days later. It went something like this:

Maria: Hello, ya, Sarah!

Me: Hello!

Maria: “Good news! I have excellent opportunity for you! Children need you! It is nice pay! It is good for you!!! Yes?”

Me: “No! Remember? I don’t want to take any job for a few weeks! I’ve only been in China for 7 days, and 2 of those were actually in Mongolia!”

Maria: “hmmm, yes, but this is temporary job, only 3 days! It is very good for you! You gain experience! Help little children! And get pocket money! Yes?”

Me: “Maybe. Where is the job? I live off of the Batong line, very far East.”

Maria: “Yes, it is not far, very convenient for you! Near Beijing! Yes!?”

Me: “Wait! Is the school not in Beijing?!?”

Maria: “It is near Beijing, yes, very close, and the children will love you! You can stay there for 3 days or maybe longer! It’s ok! Yes!?”

Me: “Where will I stay?”

Maria: “There! An apartment! ....uhhh, I forget the words in English, but, hmm, there is, how you say, bed, or maybe no, hmmmm... I forget how to say! Blanket maybe! Yes! Blanket! You need! ...But pocket money! And the Children! Think of the children Sarah!!! Yes!?!”

The conversation grew exponentially in manipulation and “forgotten” English words... Early the next morning I found myself crammed into a metro car with more people than reside in my home town contemplating the importance of the forgotten words... After 3 hours of metros, walks, and taxis, I arrived in the middle of nowhere; a place where the subways don’t run!

First I went to the kindergarten where I awkwardly sat in the middle of the headmaster’s office as he expressed (in a very unfriendly and loud voice) his immense dissatisfaction with me! He wanted someone with more experience and for long term. Apparently Maria has a bad habit of forgetting words! Nonetheless, within a half hour I found myself thrust into a band of two year olds where I was expected to teach English. I had no curriculum, no direction, and no one who knew enough English to explain how I was to accomplish this feat! The time allotted for the “lesson” was also undisclosed!

Outfitted with a smile and a Chinese phrase book Brandon lent me, I approached one of the teachers. In vain I sought to knit together a tangle of phrases such as: “The train leaves in 10 minutes,” “I speak English,” “How long until the next bus leaves,” “What are you studying at the Beijing University,” “Are there any available tables,” “I love reading books,” and “I need directions to there.” My hope was to string together a few semi-intelligible sentences, something like: “How long do I speak English? 10 minutes? Are there any available English books? I need directions!”

This taxing endeavor only produced a bright smile and blank stare which were of little use... Turning back to the children, I greeted them with excessive smiles and introduced myself. After a time of singing “Head, shoulders, knees and toes,” I was signaled to leave. Following a procession of hugs and “bye-bye teachas” I found myself in another class of slightly older children. Mimicking the opening of a book with my hands and then pointing to the British flag on my shoulder bag, the teacher ascertained my meaning and pointed to a corner of the classroom. There I was able to find a pile of English songbooks and some flashcards! Grateful for tools I proceeded to teach the kiddos “I’m a Little Teapot” and “The Wheels on the Bus Go Round.” Their inquisitive minds devoured the information! Quickly learning the motions that accompanied the songs, I proudly surveyed my class of little teapots, short and stout, boasting both handles and spouts!

The rest of my morning was spent singing and shuffling between classes. After lunch I was instructed to go to another kindergarten where I would spend the afternoon. I waited for the appearance of my ride. What pulled up was a worn down vehicle driven by a middle-aged Chinese man who sported a wife-beater and a thick gold chain around his neck.

Hesitantly I entered the vehicle.

After “Ni haos” were exchanged the driver handed me a piece of paper and started yelling at me! Furiously digging through my bag I managed to uncover my phrase book....

Me, spoken with no tones, the wrong emphases and a thick American accent: “wo bu miiiing’bai! (I don’t understand!) and the yelling is making me uncomfortable!”

Driver: “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, grrrr! arrrrrr! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

Me: “ok, super sorry... lets see here, this paper, hmmm, do you need me to sign it?” As I made the international signature signal over the piece of paper.

Driver: “AHHHHH!!!! AH AH AH! ARRRRR....”

Me: “Dude! ok, uhh, wo mei-guuoren. wo bu’shuo han yu! (I American. I no speak Korean! (Korean sounds a lot like Chinese, which is what I was actually going for))

Driver: “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....”

Me: “hmmm, this is not ideal!” –Digging through my bag again I found my phone and called Kayla.

Me: “Hey, Kayla, how are you? I’m in a strange car with a man who won’t stop yelling at me in Chinese and I’m not sure where he is taking me! Could you be a dear and try and figure out what he wants? I think it may pertain to a piece of paper he handed me.”

Kayla: “Sure! I can try!”

I handed off the phone. After the driver yelled into the receiver for a few minutes I was handed back the phone.

Me: “Well?”

Kayla: “Ok, he has a very strong accent, but I don’t think he’s mad. I think he was just talking. He said you were new and he’s driving you to another kindergarten owned by the same people... He then went on about his day... Oh and he says to need to sign the paper. But, yeah, that’s it!”

Me: “Really! Whoa! Kinda melodramatic! Ok, bye!”

At the new kindergarten I continued the same regiment of singing and shuffling between classes. A few hours later, after another melodramatic ride with an attention starved driver, I was dropped off near the first school. I then started the search for my apartment. I found it about 5 kilometers northwest of the school.

Some pictures of the schools:

Entering the apartment I discovered a few of the words Maria had forgotten. Such as: “no hot water,” “no blankets,” “no working appliances,” “no internet,” “some windows permanently fixed open creating an arctic wind tunnel through the living room,” etc...

Me: “Bummers!”

To me, the greatest source of sadness, eclipsing complete isolation, being the only English speaker within 50 kilometers, and no guidance in how to perform my job, was the prospects of being cold! I hate being cold! I hate everything about cold! I hate even the idea of cold! And there I was, in a drafty apartment in March, it might was well have been a cryosphere!

Surveying my bedroom I spotted a space heater attached to the wall!!! Joy! I rushed to the instrument and plugged it in with a prayer! Nothing! ...After flipping on and off every switch in the room I came across a remote! Examining the device covered with interesting scribbles known as “Characters” in the Chinese language, I discovered it had no batteries! Heartbreak! But wait!!! Rushing to my bag I pulled out my MP3 player, previously a source of shame, at present, perhaps my salvation!

It is over 5 years old, runs on AAA batteries, is maybe 1 gigabyte and, after losing its computer cable during my first semester at the University I have been unable to replace or remove the 2 hours of Arabic recordings and maybe 50 songs on it... I have no idea why I brought it to China, and I’m even less certain of why I brought it to the middle of no where! I long ago grew tired of its melodies and friends have perpetually teased me for its bulk and worthlessness! Nonetheless, there it was, at the bottom of my bag, after its long and ostensibly pointless journey overseas.

Opening its back I pulled out the batteries and placed them in the remote control... 30 minutes of fidgeting ensued! Then, at long last, warmth!!! Glory Be! I positioned the mattress from my bed directly under the heater, and pulled a desk and any other seemingly useful furnishing into the room! Whenever I wasn’t at work I retreated to this warm haven!

My room:

After 3 days in the wilderness I was allowed to make my way back to Beijing and civilization! Although the circumstance of those 3 days should have proven overwhelming, they strangely did not! Nothing about the experience really upset me! ...Although, I was given no instruction, I was also given no correction! Yes, I technically was unable to receive either because no one spoke English! Though, I chose to believe I was just an exceptional teacher! In addition to this, I also had a warm place to sleep! What more could I hope for!

A picture of the town:

Happily I returned to Beijing, though I felt my experience had been worthwhile and character building!

30 Minutes in Mongolia

My long awaited arrival in Beijing was commemorated with friends, hookah and live jazz music in the enchanting and luminescent lake district Hou Hai, near the center of Beijing.

The next day, less than 24 hours from when I arrived in China, my friend, Brandon, and I were preparing for departure; a “Visa Run” to Mongolia!

We made it to the bus station with nearly an hour to spare. Tickets in hand, we each took a seat in the terminal and anxiously awaited the appearance of our overnight bus to Mongolia... We waited, and waited... No bus... A little after our departure time, 17:00, Brandon and I, along with a few Mongolians and Chinese, were corralled by our “bus driver” outside of the station. After the bus driver inspected and counted his passengers, he beckoned us to follow him... Led down back alleys, along and across busy streets, we found ourselves a kilometer from the station, nestled behind large buildings, surrounded by cargo, more people, and three ominous looking buses.

Captivated by the turn of events, my emotions were escalating from excited to sheer euphoria! Although, my cohort was cynical! Time and experience in China had taught him to view such circumstances through a skeptical lens.

After an hour of waiting our bus driver pulled Brandon and I aside and asked to see our tickets. Viewing them with disapproval, he handed us new ones; tickets that were ¥20 cheaper and no longer numerically next to each other. Following a brief exchange in Chinese with Brandon our driver walked away.

Brandon: “we’re gonna get screwed over!”

Me: “what!? why!?”

Brandon: “not for sure... but I think our driver just sold as to another bus company and turned a ¥40 profit in the exchange.”

Me: “he can do that!?”

Brandon shot me a knowing glance...

After another wait we were permitted to board the bus. Our new driver viewed our tickets with a grin, and motioned us to the back of the bus.

Brandon: “I knew it!”

Me: “this is pretty great!”

We stopped midway through the bus at my bunk. I was on the top, by the window.

Me: “this is cozy!” - Said with a smirk; the “bed” was maybe 5’ 10,” my friend is pushing 6’ 3”-ish. However, my comment went unnoticed; Brandon’s eyes were fixed on the back of the bus.

The bus had three rows of bunk-beds running down its length. However, at the very back of the bus there was only one large bed (by large, I mean it was the size of a twin bed turned sideways,) this was meant to be shared by 4 passengers.

Brandon: “No! (followed by a brief torrent of profanity.) I knew this would happen!”

I tracked Brandon’s gaze to the back of the bus where I saw the communal bed which was already being occupied by three very robust and very rugged Mongolian men! As Brandon continued to survey his designated place on the bus, one of the Mongolian men shyly raised his hand and gave Brandon a timid wave accompanied by a smile.

It was too much! Overcome by the comedy of the situation I erupted in a fit of uncontrollable laughter!

Brandon was not well pleased!

After 30 minutes of trying to argue his way out of the quandary, Brandon was forced to accept his fate... Looking back once we had finally started our journey, I saw him snug between two Mongolians, his knees bent into his chest as he tried to fit himself into a bed made for someone half his size... 13 hours later we rolled into the Chinese border city of Erlian.

The bus looked something like this:

We ate a Chinese breakfast at a quaint diner before picking our way to the boarder. Once there, we waited for a certain breed of jeep which holds a monopoly on boarder transit.

Our wait was not long. Soon one of the weary, well used jeeps pulled up... Defying “The Kepler Conjecture” and many other laws pertaining to density, mass, geometry, and space filling, we crammed ourselves into a jeep already laden with baggage and a Mongolian family.

It was cozy!

This is the only picture of me in Mongolia so I had to put it up:

Emulating the actions of the Mongolian family, Brandon and I were able to pass through Chinese and Mongolian customs and turned up an hour or so later in a small Mongolian town a few kilometers from the boarder.

After failed attempts to eat at a restaurant, we conceded to defeat, and purchased a few souvenirs (a can of beer and a box of chocolates) from a grocery store. We then tracked down another one of those infamous jeeps and began our return journey.

Where we bought our "souvenirs":

This jeep, less cared for than its cousin we came on, broke down midway through the boarder crossing... Despite the best efforts of our little driver, the jeep could not be persuaded to move!

The little jeep that couldn't:

Gestured out of the jeep, Brandon and I were handed off to another driver, the Al Capone of boarder transit!!! He sported a leather jacket with the collars turned up and a cigarette pressed between his thin lips... Al Capone was not gifted with patients! When boarder traffic came to a stop he would slam his foot on the accelerator and not so gently smash into the vehicle in front of us! When this did not produce the desired outcome, he would yell out very strong sounding Mongolian words! Then, if pressed, would leave our jeep to physically confront the other drivers! Lord help them!

Al Capone+Jeep+Brandon:

Sometime later we arrived at the Mongolian boarder where we saw our former jeep being towed through the vehicle check points. It looked as though Al Capone would remain our escort!

Making our way through Mongolian customs, again, Brandon and I befriended a Kazakhstani named Almira! A fellow “visa runee,” Almira was also Beijing bound and agreed to share a taxi back with us! (Although, Brandon was almost to the point where he could laugh at his experience, i.e. spooning with Mongolians on the bus, he had no desire to repeat it!)

Emerging from customs, we reunited with Al Capone and the other passengers, two Mongolian women. During the brief jaunt to China I was able to befriend the two women. We communicated via gestures and drawing each other pictures on our departure stubs. I was able to ascertain that the women were from different parts of Mongolia, one lived near a mountain, or lake, or forest; the particulars were a little hard to determine, the other lived somewhere cold. Also, one was going to China to visit someone or to sightsee, again the precise details were a little vague, and the other was on business, that is a shopping excursion!

I lost my new Mongolian friends somewhere in Chinese customs; I also nearly lost Brandon and Almira, who were both detained... Eventually, Brandon, Almira and I made it back to China and were soon comfortably situated in a taxi back to Beijing!

The ride back as wonderful; the conversation lively, the route exciting, and the scenery fascinating... Out my window I peered into a rugged and dry landscape. Little houses and villages were nestled into rolling hills which rippled out in all directions and grew into mountains as our taxi drew closer to Beijing...We entered the big city a little after dusk. The skyscrapers and flashing lights seemed so detached from the countryside we had just driven through

Once we parted with Almira, Brandon and I concluded our journey with an incredible meal. What a trip!

How I Came to be in China...

This summer, while in the Middle East, I learned to look at situations differently... I realized that difficulties, problems, missed buses, unfortunate circumstances, etc, are often just adventures wrongly considered. Thus, my motto was born: “things either go the way I planned, or I have an adventure!” ...My summer’s discovery had an immediate application once stateside as I embarked on this Adventure to China!

The journey to China has been anything but direct... The course has been one beset with obstacles, poorly marked paths, and detours. Initially when I setout on this adventure I believed myself to be Indonesia bound... Though, alas, as with most adventures, the purpose, aim and destination continuously shift.

It all started in December; well actually it started about 4 months earlier, but for the sake of conciseness I’ll say December. In December two foolish assumptions, (one that I had graduated from the University of Iowa, the second that I would be receiving a substantial pay increase,) lead me to make a few significant decisions. I decided to get a TESOL (Teach English to Speakers of Other Languages) certificate, and I bought a one-way ticket to Beijing which would leave in March. At the time my plan seemed foolproof. I had 3 ½ months to finish my TESOL certification, save up money, and find a job in Indonesia. I would then spend a month with two friends in Beijing before meandering south to teach English and save children from human trafficking... However, within a week I discover I was not graduated and my pay increase had been rescinded.

What ensued was a scramble to register for/con my way into enough half semester classes to satisfy me credit requirements, shamelessly stalk the only professor at the University who was qualified to give me the Hebrew equivalency exam I needed to graduate, study Hebrew, work on the TESOL certificate, continue to scrape together money, attend and strive to pass my 4 classes, and take care of the other innumerable little details like register for a Chinese Visa.

By February my situation was looking bleak. In all probability I would be penniless, degreeless, certificateless, jobless, homeless, and return-ticketless in China. WOW!!! Though, on February 8^th, during a small break in between two jobs, I decided to argue with God, and make certain He understood the exact ramifications of my current predicament which He was entirely at fault! After a rant, I took a breath and listened expectantly. I felt strangely calm and instantly a story from the Old Testament came to my mind; the story of Jehoshapht from II Chronicles 20. I pulled out my little Bible and refreshed my mind with the particulars of the story; it had been a long time since I had read it.... In short, the story goes like this, Israel was facing complete annihilation with no hope of salvation, they freaked out, they prayed, they listened, and God told them to go out for battle, but not to fight... He told them victory would come, but it would come without any of their help. Sure enough, they arrived on the battle field and were confronted only with the corpses of their opposing army.

I don’t know how to explain it, but I became completely confident that I would not only be ok, but that all my concerns would work out, the biggest being my graduation! The only challenge that remained was to defend my confidence and optimism to well meaning friends and family who were determent to prepare me for my imminent heartbreak, failure, and danger, as well as to enlighten me about the imprudence of my choices... I had to defend myself up to the very end... and beyond.... My last two days in Iowa were spent camped outside the Professor’s office praying for a chance to take the Hebrew placement test. The chance came the day before I left... under 24 hours before my departure! That was close!

The next day, safely aboard my flight to Seattle, I felt like all the hardships where over and the only thing that occupied my mind was the excited anticipation to see my friends! However, one more road block awaited me! China with their retroactive visa policies had changed their regulations and I was prohibited from boarding the plane without a return ticket! I had exactly 20 minutes to figure this out without the aid of a cell phone, credit card, or internet... For 20 minutes I ran circuits between the help desk, the departure gate, and anyone who would lend me their cell phone, though all this was to no avail!!!

After 20 minutes of excited scurrying about, I watched my plane slowly pulled away from the gate. For a fleeting moment I contemplated whether or not I should cry or laugh, or if I should feel sad or apathetic. Though the moment was fleeting; I turned on my heels, and walked back to the help desk with a smile.

Call it stubbornness, sheer determination, or a gift from God, but I remained in good spirits and was more resolved then ever before to go to China... China had never been my goal. However, my love for a good challenge suddenly made China my destination of choice, even above the beautiful tropical paradise, Indonesia. I felt certain that China was where I was supposed to be and I knew I would get there!

4 hours later, I emerged from the airport with the needed tickets, strong friendships with about 5 delta employees, a place to stay for the night (provided by my wonderful sister Amanda and brother (in-law) Steve.) The next day I was able to board the plane, and 11 hours later I was in China! Happy day!

I’m still wandering through the mire of uncertainty as I search out my purpose in China. Though I’m confident of the fact that I do have a purpose here, and whatever it is, it is one worth the character building, faith testing, nerve racking, adventurous, twisty, uneasy, harrowing, exciting, journey that brought me here!

And so I wait and look to the future with an excited anticipation!